[Humor] – Business Roles and Designations – For a Baby

  • Director – Funds the Baby Project for 4 months, knowing that “typical” development like this could take 8-10 months.
  • Project Manager – A person who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.
  • Designer – A person who keeps changing the look-n-feel and color scheme of the baby when it has already been established that the baby is going to be brown.
  • Developer – A person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
  • Onsite Coordinator – One who thinks single woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.
  • Client – One who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
  • Product Manager – One who couldn’t tell you the value and ROI of releasing such a baby.
  • Marketing Manager – A person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no men and women are available.
  • Sales Manager – Will promise you a 20 pound, full-head-of-hair, and ready-to-walk baby in 9 months.
  • Resource Optimization Team – Thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.
  • Documentation Team – Doesn’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
  • Quality Auditor – A person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
  • Tester – A person who always tells his wife that this is not the RIGHT baby.
  • HR Manager – A person who thanks that a donkey can deliver a human baby given 9 months.
  • Agile Coach – …
  • ScrumMaster – …
  • Delivery Team – …
  • Architect – …
  • Compliance Auditor – …
  • DBA – …

[Funny – Kinda like What Consultants are All About and How Devs, QA, Designers See Each other]

Who else would you add? 

Other fun roles…?

6 Replies to “[Humor] – Business Roles and Designations – For a Baby”

  1. I sent this to 2 of the teams I am Agile Coach (aka SM) on. this is what I got back from a very creative person:

    Agile Coach – Wrote the book, been there done that, but what is that screaming thing in blanket?
    ScrumMaster – Yells madly from the back of room, ignored by everyone
    Delivery Team – Know where to take the baby from and where to put it, will require an minimum of 12 months lead time
    Architect – Expert on the care of extra-terrestrial life forms or exotic animals, has no concept of small children
    Compliance Auditor – Requires paper work to prove the baby was actually born, regardless of fact that its just puked on his foot.
    DBA – Requires child to be fully normalized with no foreign parents or children of its own
    Security Specialist – baby can only be delivered to mother if it knows its name, high school teacher’s name, favourite colour and model of first car.

      1. The Spartans (the other team was the Berserkers and I got a LOL for the Onsite Coordinator one from one of the female dev’s)

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