AOL Acquires – Adds Awesomeness to Media Giant


Acquisition Will Solidify AOL’s Strategy of Creating a Premier Content Network With Local, National and International Reach with AgileScout’s BBQ-Roasting Ability to Pwn Noobs.

Atlanta, GA – April 1, 2011 – AOL Inc. [NYSE: AOL] announced today that it has entered into a tentative agreement to acquire, the influential and rapidly growing news, analysis, and software development website founded in 1910, which now counts nearly 1 trillion unique monthly visitors per day*. The acquisition will come at a sweet-old-southern-tune of $850M.

The transaction will create the most awesome combination of awesome-sauce ever seen in the Agile software development community. The combination of AOL’s infrastructure and scale with Agile Scout’s awesome approach to Agile news will mark a seminal moment in the evolution of digital journalism, online engagement, and sweet tea.

The new group will have a combined base of 1 trillion unique visitors per day in the United States and 7 trillion around the world**.

As part of the transaction, Arianna Huffington, The Huffington Post’s co-founder and editor-in-chief, of the recent acquisition between AOL and The Huffington Post, will now be named Uber Scout Master of the Universe. She will continue to reign supreme over Engadget, TechCrunch, Moviefone, MapQuest, Black Voices, PopEater, AOL Music, AOL Latino, AutoBlog, Patch, StyleList, and more.

“The acquisition of Agile Scout will create a next-generation of awesomeness. Period. Need I say more?” said Tim Armstrong, Chairman and CEO of AOL. “Together, with our powers combined, I will become, essentially, the Captain Planet of the internet.”

Peter Saddington, Executive Editor and Scout Master of will continue his slave-like editorial duties in the newly renovated dungeons of the AOL building in New York. Peter, brimming with enthusiasm stated:

“I am so happy that AOL has decided to pick us up, and now we can rule the interwebs together! Either way, it’s nice to know that I now have Tim Armstrong’s cell phone number. I’ve always wanted to call him and ask him waaazzzuuuuuup?!”

The deal is said to close quickly, by the end of the day, April 1, 2011.

  • *1 trillion view per day is an average
  • **7 trillion views per day is every person in the world on the internet viewing at the same time

3 Replies to “AOL Acquires – Adds Awesomeness to Media Giant”

Leave a Reply