[Humor] – Business Roles and Designations – For a Baby

  • Director - Funds the Baby Project for 4 months, knowing that “typical” development like this could take 8-10 months.
  • Project Manager – A person who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.
  • Designer – A person who keeps changing the look-n-feel and color scheme of the baby when it has already been established that the baby is going to be brown.
  • Developer – A person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
  • Onsite Coordinator – One who thinks single woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.
  • Client – One who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
  • Product Manager – One who couldn’t tell you the value and ROI of releasing such a baby.
  • Marketing Manager – A person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no men and women are available.
  • Sales Manager – Will promise you a 20 pound, full-head-of-hair, and ready-to-walk baby in 9 months.
  • Resource Optimization Team – Thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.
  • Documentation Team – Doesn’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
  • Quality Auditor – A person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
  • Tester – A person who always tells his wife that this is not the RIGHT baby.
  • HR Manager – A person who thanks that a donkey can deliver a human baby given 9 months.
  • Agile Coach – …
  • ScrumMaster – …
  • Delivery Team – …
  • Architect – …
  • Compliance Auditor – …
  • DBA – …

[Funny – Kinda like What Consultants are All About and How Devs, QA, Designers See Each other]

Who else would you add? 

Other fun roles…?

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6 Responses to “[Humor] – Business Roles and Designations – For a Baby”

  1. Stephen Reed
    February 11, 2012 at 2:14 am #

    I sent this to 2 of the teams I am Agile Coach (aka SM) on. this is what I got back from a very creative person:

    Agile Coach – Wrote the book, been there done that, but what is that screaming thing in blanket?
    ScrumMaster – Yells madly from the back of room, ignored by everyone
    Delivery Team – Know where to take the baby from and where to put it, will require an minimum of 12 months lead time
    Architect – Expert on the care of extra-terrestrial life forms or exotic animals, has no concept of small children
    Compliance Auditor – Requires paper work to prove the baby was actually born, regardless of fact that its just puked on his foot.
    DBA – Requires child to be fully normalized with no foreign parents or children of its own
    Security Specialist – baby can only be delivered to mother if it knows its name, high school teacher’s name, favourite colour and model of first car.

    • peter
      February 11, 2012 at 9:28 am #

      Stephen, this is great! Awesome

    • peter
      February 11, 2012 at 9:46 am #

      I’ll add it to the original post, what is your team’s “name?”

      • Stephen Reed
        February 11, 2012 at 8:25 pm #

        The Spartans (the other team was the Berserkers and I got a LOL for the Onsite Coordinator one from one of the female dev’s)

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