The Life of an Agile Coach in a Song

TOPPOP: Atlanta Rhythm Section – Georgia Rhythm

Being from Atlanta… yup.

Livin’ out of a suitcase
Sleepin’ in hotel rooms
Rental cars and airport bars
And dog day afternoons

My occupation is a picker
And music is my game
Sometimes it makes me crazy
But I would not change a thing

So lay down a back beat
Crank up your trusty Gibson
Let’s give it everything we got just one more time
Lovin’ the life we’re livin’
Playin’ that Georgia rhythm
Nothin’ else ever made me feel so fine

Four o’clock in the morning
Waitin’ for a plane
We passed around the bottle, Lord
And we don’t feel no pain

Life out here on the highway
Has its ups and downs
But last night the Georgia rhythm
Tore up another town

So lay down a back beat
Crank up your trusty Gibson, it’s alright
Let’s give it everything we got just one more time
One more time
Lovin’ the life we’re livin’
Playin’ that Georgia rhythm
Nothin’ else ever made me feel this fine, yeah

Alright

Rising above the madness
Homeward bound again
To normal ways and lazy days
And old familiar friends

Some conversation with my lady
Some love long overdue
God knows I hate to leave her
But I got a job to do

So lay down a back beat
Crank up your trusty Gibson, son
Let’s give it everything we got just one more time
Lovin’ the life we’re livin’
Playin’ that Georgia rhythm
Makin’ music, movin’ on down the line
One more time

Lay down a back beat
Crank up your trusty Gibson
Let’s give it everything we got just one more time, one more time
Lovin’ the life we’re livin’
Playin’ that Georgia rhythm
Nothin’ else ever made me feel this fine

Give it everything we got just one more time

The Half Arsed Agile Manifesto

Manifesto for Half-Arsed Agile Software Development

We have heard about new ways of developing software by
paying consultants and reading Gartner reports. Through
this we have been told to value:

Individuals and interactions over processes and tools…and we have mandatory processes and tools to control how those individuals (we prefer the term ‘resources’) interact

Working software over comprehensive documentation… as long as that software is comprehensively documented

Customer collaboration over contract negotiation… within the boundaries of strict contracts, of course, and subject to rigorous change control

Responding to change over following a plan…provided a detailed plan is in place to respond to the change, and it is followed precisely

That is, while the items on the left sound nice
in theory, we’re an enterprise company, and there’s
no way we’re letting go of the items on the right.

Lol!

[HT: Kerry Buckley]

GE uses #LeanStartup – Makes Fridge

Eyes rolled and groans were muttered last night at the closing session of the first day of Eric Ries’ Lean Startup Conference. For the Monday finale, Ries brought four employees and executives from General Electric — yes, the giant bureaucratic corporation that makes your dishwashers and air conditioners — to talk about the company’s innovative endeavors.

Needless to say, entrepreneurs in the audience were skeptical. After all, many had joined the startup community to escape the death grip of corporate bureaucracy. What could General Electric, a 276.85b market cap company with approximately 305,000 employees in 106 countries globally, possibly teach the audience about startups?

The answer was “not much.” At least at the moment.

ge-lean-startup-fridge
The Lean Startup Fridge

General Electric says it has 100 products in the pipeline that have been created and tested using Eric Ries‘ popular Lean Startup method. But only one is ready to go into production right now, hitting 10 stores next week…

Stop the presses because, shocker: it’s a fridge. An all-metal fridge with no plastic on the inside, which apparently is super innovative and a bonkers experiment for the fridge industry.

#lol

Read the full story here.

Bullsh*t Bingo – Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe)

safe-scaled-agile-framework-bullshit-bingo
I won!

Before each daily scrum, visit Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe) Bingo and print one copy of this game card for each player,refreshing the page before each print, or have the players print their own bingo cards. These instructions will not be printed. You can also select an embeddable card only version of the game or a multiple card version of the game when playing on line, or with a smart phone.

Check off each block when you hear these words during the daily scrum. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “Woo Woo!!“. Or play as a drinking game and for every block you mark off, take a sip, and finish your drink each time you get five blocks in a row.

This seriously gave me the LOLs!!!!!!!!!!

Find more Bullshit bingo cards here.

Make a 15 Minute Daily Scrum Pure $1,500 Cash (Whaaaat???)

daily-scrum-giveaway-1500-3d-printerIf you haven’t already taken the 2013 State of Agile Survey, definitely check this out…

Now in the final 2 weeks’ stretch, VersionOne is trying to get at least 1,000 more people to take the survey. In doing so, they just announced an expanded prize offer – For the first time ever, the grand-prize winner of the drawing can choose to win this 3D printer OR just take the cash – $1,500. Plus lots of other cool swag.

The idea is this: the bigger the data sampling, the more value peeps will get from the report, which has become the largest and most cited survey in the agile community. The State of Agile Survey helps software professionals (that’s YOU) make tough decisions and get the most from their agile initiatives.

Take the survey before it closes on Oct. 16th and your email address automatically goes into the drawing.  While you’re at it, try passing it on to at least 5 of your software peers (don’t worry; if you don’t forward it, nothing bad will happen to you!)   #StateofAgileSurvey.

$9.99 Apple Store Promotion! Get The Agile Pocket Guide Book on Sale! @ibookstore

apple-store-agile-pocket-guide

It’s here on the Apple Store: The Agile Pocket Guide. It’s right there in the “Learning Business Skills” brick on the main page, in conjunction with the Apple WWDC conference.

It is a two week Apple promotion dropping ebook prices to $9.99 starting 6/4 and running through 6/17.

Would love a tweet about it!:

The Agile Pocket Guide is now only $9.99 in the @iBookstore for the Apple #WWDC2013 – http://ow.ly/lHo6F

There are lots of other books on sale too… here are the other books at the promotion!:

Main Promo Link: https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewRoom?cc=us&fcId=657275399&id=27829&mt=11&ls=1

agile-store-the-agile-pocket-guide-peter-saddington

Becoming a PMI Registered Education Provider (R.E.P.) – More like RIP for Trees

pmi-rep-application
Almost 500 pages…for the application…proof, proof, and more proof. 

If you are a trainer, and you want to become a PMI REP so people can claim PDUs for taking your class or workshop, you have some tree-choppin’ to do. Maybe the option to submit this in electronic form is better…way to go.

Jira Jr. – Project Tracking for Kids?

I opened this up in the office and I literally said out loud: “Oh my goodness. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I assume it’s an April fools joke… but reading the comments on this video was even better than the video itself…

For example:

Don Draper 13 hours ago

hah-hah, april foo? Jira is another sorry product turning engineers/creatives into robots and stifling imagination/innovation. There are better, more efficient products out there. shAtlassian prides itself on being the master of masturbatory mundaneness in tracking the superfluous to enable wanker managers to see how their cube bots slave away to make money for these corporate turds who haven’t the brains to be engineers themselves, but lie and cheat and stomp on people to get to the top.

People. Lighten up!